James 5:16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.
Background
In the modern church, talking about how our walks with Jesus are occurring, struggles, victories, confessing sin is almost a dead art. I am ok, you are ok seems to be standard fair. If you are asked, are you ok? Do you feel there is genuine interest to hear an answer that is not, yeah everything is great?!?!
Mostly the modern church has turned into performance-based worship and either topical or expository teaching that is largely personality driven. The space to delve into our lives in response to these teachings is usually left to the individual in isolation. James 5:16 tells us that following Jesus, healing and the process of sanctification is a team sport.
The mantra of the modern Evangelical church seems to be, learn about the bible and/or what the bibles says about an issue, but keep the personal impacts both derogatory and victorious to yourself. If you need to have an open, honest, safe, and real conversation about something, then mostly, one is referred to “counseling” ministries. Again, more isolation. The priesthood of the believer has been outsourced and it is time to bring it back home, to our own hearts and our own ministries to those around us. It should be a standard part of the education of what it means to follow Jesus.
I assert we have returned to a yoke of slavery discussed in Galatians 5:1 – It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
The work of Christ is about FREEDOM. Freedom is bringing that which is in the dark, into the light. What that looks like on the court is confession and sharing with a heaping dose of self-awareness, emotional capacity, language, and integrity. Hiding sin and/or shame with no safe space to confess and seek prayer, looks like returning to a yoke of slavery. When a believer is set FREE, that is cause for CELEBRATION! We should want Celebration of FREEDOM for our Jesus family siblings more than anything. We should also question the I am okay you’re okay mentality. It is a façade by which the truth of people’s lives are mostly hidden.
It could be said that the structure of the modern evangelical church is a structure of hiding, while acting like everything is ok. It is the exception that someone stands up, tells one on themselves and self-promotes being FOUND OUT outside of a pastoral care situation. If they do, it’s an interruption. Everyone is a sinner, not being found out is a problem. Being found out should be a VICTORY in Christ! It is even rarer that in community, someone confesses, receives prayer, forgiveness and the peace that surpasses all understanding. If they harmed others asking forgiveness with them. If they damaged the community, with the community. Mostly, it is swept under the rug and ignored out of what probably is communal fear. A sad indictment of the body of Christ and a sad witness to what we believe the power of Jesus does and can do.
The confession of sin can be messy, however James 5:16 is a formula. Individual/Corporate Confession + Prayer = Healing. It is actually one of the most direct statements in the Bible. It is a promise! Is Jesus big enough to fulfill on that promise even if it messy? 100% YES! A mountain of healing has been left on the table because Evangelicals have become afraid to get real, better said, truthful, with each other and seemingly have removed intentional spaces by which to spur on James 5:16.
The way that has been accomplished is through Bible study. Studying the Bible is never a bad thing, but it is not an intentionally created space by which believers can be known, discuss and process their relationship with Jesus, experience the confession of sin, the gift of forgiveness, the cleansing of the holy spirit, sibling prayer and ultimately healing. That INTENTIONAL space mostly does not exist. More Bible studies are not the answer. If they were, James 5:16 would already be evident.
The acquisition of Bible knowledge is not getting real about what is going on in your life. When initially practiced, it might take considerable time and the development of language and structure by which to process, share and confess. In many ways, we are starting at ground zero. We have become so remedial at this practice as the body of Christ, it warrants an elevated level of guidance and structure to bring it back into the fold. It is not happening organically at Bible studies.
The Man Box
What have been the impacts of suppressing James 5:16? I think it impacts men more.
Men are more than lust machines. That simplification of men is offensive to me personally. I believe that there is ignorance running the show when distinguishing between attraction and lust. Attraction is not lust. It certainly is the first step, but another step towards lust is a decision we all have. Lust is indicative of the thoughts of a person. It is the hidden thoughts that create the desire and want. Attraction without the need to possess, lust, is 100% possible. It is a developed skill. I fully believe that Jesus felt attraction, but it did not supersede his compassion or commitment to the soul of the person. He never lusted.
It is completely possible to be attracted to someone and not cross the line into lust. That means viewing them as a child of God and a fellow human who needs the love of Jesus in their life. As a man who before becoming a follower of Jesus spent years inside strip clubs, chasing women and fulfilling every sexual fantasy I could, I can experientially say, it is 100% empty. It is a hotbed of lost and hurting people. There is nothing over there accept people who need Jesus. As Ecclesiastes says, it is The Futility of All Endeavor.
It was not until I did the work of developing my emotional capacity and language, that beautiful women turned into people. I now can be with any women, no matter how attracted I am to her, without the thoughts in my mind being about carnal things. I can be with a beautiful woman as a fellow human. A skill which astounds men. I gained that capacity before becoming a follower of Jesus. Beauty is full of people, hurting people, who Jesus loves just as much as he loves me.
Men feel shame for attraction which is sad. God invented attraction for a reason. However, since it is NEVER discussed how would a man ever know that is possible? According to the church, every man is a lust machine. Let’s be fair, 99.9% seems to be the accepted number. So, there is a remanent of men who posses the ability to not let lust run their mind. But the message is, you probably are not one of them.
The focus on lust with men, seems a self-fulfilling prophecy. If lust is the only socially acceptable way for a man to confess something, then where are the conversations about pride, sloth, greed, money, being a man of God in the workplace, being a good father, being a good husband, being a good single person and many other facets of our daily lives exist? Mostly, they do not. It seems, you are a porn addict, or everything is rosy. And we wonder why infidelity is rampant and why clergy can at any moment hit the porn addict button to tap out of the ministry. I assert, because the lack of emotional training of men in the church creates a hiding place for the darkness. That is mostly done through ignoring James 5:16.
Men are not off/on switches and women are thirty-two channel sound boards. A woman is from man, we have every capacity she has, because we are the root of her creation. Men are emotional. To say they are not is a lie. A disservice to God’s creation.
One only need to study David, a man after God’s own heart, to realize that a poet, song writer, worship leader, psalmist, warrior and shepherd is who God choose to promote. David wrote most of the psalms. A MAN was used to create the love language of man to God. David was more than a lust machine and lust was one of his biggest failures. I am not saying lust is not dangerous, it is, but having it be all that a man can be, is a remedial viewpoint of God’s creation.
David danced naked when the Ark of the Covenant was brought back to Jerusalem. Image a modern celebration where men shed their cloths and danced in praise to God. It could happen because under that suppressed surface, those emotions exist. Denying them is missing being all that God means a man to be. Men only need a forum by which to understand their emotions, to give them language, to understand that they are more than lust machines.
The Band meeting is a time proven structure for implementing James 5:16 in an intentional, real, and practical way where any facet of life can be taken to the throne and placed on the altar hand in hand with siblings in the faith. It is that practical place for people to process what it means to follow Jesus. What does it look like in our lives when the rubber meets the road?
Why did I highlight this about men? Because women naturally live out James 5:16 more easily than men. This happens because they are culturally trained, that having emotional language and capacity is acceptable, while for men, it is not. When a man possesses these skills, other men mock him as feminized. When in fact, the reason women have those types of emotions, is because she came from the rib of a man. I wonder what Jesus thinks about all that?
History of the Band Meeting
The band meeting was created by John Wesley in the 1700s. John Wesley was an Anglican at that time and saw that an intentional structure for living out James 5:16 did not exist in the Anglican church. Sound familiar? John Wesley was the founder of the Methodist Church considered the 3rd largest Christian denomination on the planet. Fundamentally, the Methodist church, which has mostly lost this practice, but is seeing some revival in it, is built on the foundation of the band meeting.
What is a Band Meeting?
The band meeting is an intentionally created space for the express purpose of living out James 5:16 that is same sex and no more than 6 people, 4 is best with a developed leader, who also is a participant. In practice, at least 15 minutes of time should be given to each member of the group. In the early days or in certain situations, more time may be required. Age does not matter, but can be utilized to form groups as long as a seasoned leader is in the mix. Disparate ages are beneficial as it naturally provides wisdom to the group for those who are younger and exemplifies that sanctification never ends until we shed this mortal coil.
For each member in the band, they are asked several questions during their time. They answer those questions, the group then prays for them and then the next participant goes. Repeat until everyone has had a turn. Simple!
When a band is formed, every person as witnessed by the group must explicitly and individually give their word to the following at the first meeting or when a new member joins the band. Call it a right of initiation. If any individual is unwilling to make these promises to the group, they should not be allowed in the band.
- Do you promise to keep everything shared confidential?
- Do you promise to never use anything shared to harm anyone?
- Do you promise to be open and honest with the group about your own life?
- Do you promise to not try to fix anything for anyone when they share?
- If you feel you have something for them and want to share it, you can approach them outside the meeting and make a request to share what you see. If they are not interested, that is respected and not held against them.
- Do you promise not to dominate the conversation?
- Do you promise to respect everyone’s time during the meeting?
- Do you promise to do the work to develop what might be lacking to gain the language and insight to uncover previously undistinguished obstacles, sin, emotional capacity, and false identity?
- Do you promise to immediately restore your integrity with any of these rules should you break them with the group?
- If you break a rule and it causes harm, do you promise to clean up the mess you made to the satisfaction of the person it hurt?
- Will you abide by the leaders coaching, navigation and monitoring of these rules?
What are the questions asked in a band meeting? The fundamental question of every band meeting is, how is it with your soul? Great Question! This is a nonexclusive list of other well-known band meeting questions.
- How is it with your soul?
- Where have you been walking in the flesh vs the spirit?
- What scripture is currently challenging you and why?
- What known sins have you committed since our last meeting?
- What are you struggling with?
- What temptations have you met with?
- Were you delivered?
- Who are you sharing the Gospel with?
- Who have you shared the Gospel with?
- What have you thought, said, or done, of which you think it might be sin?
- Do you desire to keep something secret?
- If yes, will you tell the secret or just acknowledge that you have a secret.
- Am I consciously or unconsciously creating the impression that I am better than I am? In other words, am I a hypocrite?
- Am I honest in all my acts and words, or do I exaggerate?
- Do I confidentially pass onto another what was told to me in confidence? Can I be trusted?
- Am I a slave to dress, friends, work, or habits?
- Am I self-conscious, self-pitying, or self-justifying?
- Did the Bible live in me today?
- Do I give the Bible time to speak to me every day?
- Am I enjoying prayer?
- What am I praying for?
- Do I pray about the money I spend?
- Do I get to bed on time and get up on time?
- Do I disobey God in anything?
- Do I insist upon doing something about which my conscience is uneasy?
- Am I defeated in any part of my life?
- Am I jealous, impure, critical, irritable, touchy, or distrustful?
- How do I spend my spare time?
- Am I proud?
- Am I slothful?
- Do I thank God that I am not as other people, especially as the Pharisee who despised the publican? Do I think I am better than others?
- Is there anyone whom I fear, dislike, disown, criticize, hold resentment toward or disregard?
- If so, what am I going to do about it?
- Do I grumble and complain constantly?
- Is Christ real to me?
- Am I rejoicing always?
- Am I praying without ceasing?
- Am I thankful in any circumstance?
Assuming James 5:16 is happening within a Bible study where the point of the space is to understand scripture is not individuals talking about their lives. If the Christian life is a team sport, if James 5:16 is real, healing is available to all on the other side of confession and prayer. Does that not require the church, the priesthood of believers, to create an intentional space to live that out? I say yes, and my prayer is that by reading this, your response will be YES and AMEN!
